I'm not talking cell phone loving, wifi surfing, instagram tweeting, facebook liking kind of connected. The connected that I'm talking about is the personal kind, the one where you actually look someone in the eyes for more than a second and don't turn away with awkwardness.
When's the last time you had an in depth conversation with someone and were able to keep complete eye contact through most of it? Are you the one who finds it super awkward to look at someone in the eye for more than a few seconds without looking away? Why is that? What is it about just looking someone in the eyes that makes you feel so nervous inside?
My personal take on it is that most of you who feel this way aren't comfortable within yourself. Being able to stay connected with another person for a decent amount of time takes vulnerability and for a lot of people they just can't do it. We live in a society now where being connected means you're online and "plugged in."
When I'm out with my friends for any meal or coffee I like to play the "phone game." Everyone must put their phone face down on the table or leave it in their bag. From the start of the meal or coffee all the way until we are finished your phone must remain like this. I love this game because it forces everyone to really connect again, to create conversation. The first people to break if they can't handle going without has to pick up the bill. My reason for this is because when I ask to go out with you and spend time with you I want to genuinely connect. I'm a person who isn't afraid to look at you in the eyes for an extended amount of time. Some may argue that it could lead to people thinking you're interested in them romantically but I think that's just a really great excuse for not doing something you feel uncomfortable doing. I love connecting with people, it's why I do the work I do. Isn't connection what we're all seeking in life? To be around others and enjoy others and also even be romantic with others? If you're so interested in connecting then why do you fight so hard against it every day?
Do a little test with yourself and see if you can change you habits. Try and look people in the eye more often, especially when saying "Thank You." I now leave you with this amazing Ted Talks which inspired this post by Amanda Palmer, enjoy!
With Gratitude,
Calan
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